The Liquid Girl of Berlin
Okay, so here is the final piece after a few weeks of creative writing tutoring. Please see included added 'dramatic tension' and 'contrast.' I ahve also included my commentary on the piece due to popular demand. I'll let you know how it goes. The Liquid Girl of Berlin Raymond Phelps could have been God as far as the world was concerned. He was the highest paid model in Hollywood, regularly feted as the world’s most eligible bachelor, and at a ceremony that evening in Berlin had been crowned ‘Man of the 21st Century.’ On the wall of Sonya Monfis, the French actress, there was even an enlarged print of his face. ‘It’s your eyes,’ she said, stroking the paper with her fingernails. ‘With eyes like that you can have anything.’ But Raymond Phelps didn’t want to look at another picture. He didn’t want to look at anything at all. As the beautiful French actress tore off his clothes he felt his limbs start to grow cold, and as her body curved and squeezed around him his bre