Coping with Cancer - Therapy

Today I’ve been seeing a medical counsellor to talk about what’s happened to me over the last six months. It’s a part of the complimentary therapies that the hospital offers to help cancer patients. I know most of my blogs convey a positive outlook, or make throwaway gags about the cancer experience, but a lot of horrible stuff happens, and that’s where the therapy can help. As a British man I usually have two methods for dealing with trauma - get roaring drunk and pretending nothing happened or repressing militantly and carry on regardless - however, as a modern man-of the-world, I also like to consider other methods. Here’s a guide to the ‘alternative’ therapies that I’ve tried so far.

Acupuncture

A traditional Chinese technique which uses fine needles to balance the body’s energy flow, helping to provide short-term relief from many symptoms side-effects.

What’s it good for? Relieving stress, helping all the gross medication move through the body, constipation and soothing the peripheral nerve damage.

My experience: I lay on a bed while a slightly mad lady put small needles in between my fingers and toes. Then I tried to go to sleep while she rabbited on about her daughter’s problems at school and why she divorced her husband to go and live on a barge in East London.

Did it work? I was sceptical, but acupuncture proved surprisingly effective. I don’t understand why sticking needles in your forehead helps with constipation, but it does! It did not help the tingling in fingers and toes though, despite this being the main reason I tried it.

Hydrothermal Massage

A deeply relaxing treatment which involves lying on warm bags of water. The treatment gives the sensation of floating and is unique in that you lie on your back while the therapist places their hands between you and the bag. It relaxes tense muscles, promotes correct postural alignment and promotes a sense of wellbeing.

What’s it good for?

It relieves stress and tension and relaxes the nerve endings. It’s particularly useful for breast and bowel cancer patients who don’t like to lie on their front. Its also feels VERY nice.

My experience

Like a drunken fling with a very amorous octopus.

Did it work?

I’ve got to say, this was one of the most pleasurable 45 minutes of my life. I was quite tense before and was certainly not tense at the end, so I guess that can be defined as a success – but I can’t say I felt entirely relaxed during the procedure. I don’t mind a woman slipping a very lubed hand into the side of my pants, but usually need a red wine or two beforehand. Would I go again though? You bet.

Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is the therapeutic use of essential oils to help deal with everyday stresses and emotional wellbeing. Essential oils, extracted from plants, are thought to possess distinctive properties, which may be used to improve overall emotional and spiritual health, giving the user a sense of relaxation and calm.

What’s it good for? A very simple way to relax and calm the mind. I had as part of an aromatherapy massage treatment, so the essential oils can add an extra relaxant to soothe and invigorate tired muscles.

My experience A nice man called David opened a box of essential oils and gave me a selection to smell. I tried the first one – Frankincense. It smelt earthy with a spicy kick. ‘A little strong,’ he said, studying my face. ‘Maybe…this one instead.’ He gave me another tube. It smelt of orange. ‘Oh yes,’ he said. ‘We’ll add that to the mix.’ He produced another tube. ‘Okay, how about this one?’ I put it to my nose and inhaled. It smelt of roast chicken. I licked my lips. ‘Yeah, that seems good.’ He looked at me and shook his head. ‘No, definitely not that one.’ We repeated this for another five smells and I swear my expression didn’t change once, but David seemed convinced. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘If you want to get your trousers off, I’ll go behind this curtain prepare the oil.’

Did it work? The massage was excellent, and I felt super-relaxed afterwards. I didn’t notice the essential oils whatsoever, but I did really enjoy the can of Fanta I bought on the way out.

Craft Therapy

Arts and crafts can help people’s self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem. Taking part in an activity alone or with others can give people great pleasure and satisfaction.

What’s it good for? It distracts you from feeling like crap all the time. Its fun and its shows you that even in your decrepit state, you can learn a new skill.

My experience An enthusiastic lady came to my house with a box of wool, some bamboo and some strange plastic contraptions. We then proceeded to make a pom-pom Christmas tree.

Did it work? The experience was so bizarre that I completely forget the chemotherapy was happening. The resulting ‘tree’ may have resembled a prop from The Wicker Man, but it still gave me some sense of achievement. I’m not sure I should quit my day job anytime soon however.

Post-medical trauma coaching

Coaching provides support and guidance to understand the situation you’re in and build resilience and resources to support yourself to move forward successfully, wherever you are in the cancer journey.

What’s it good for? Making you feel positive about life and giving you goals to look forward to. It’s also quite nice to talk about yourself for an hour.

My experience A very energetic man – Andrew – sat in me in a room and asked me to answer lots of difficult questions. What’s important to you? What’s you place in the world? Where do you see yourself now? He then drew some triangles on a piece of paper and asked me to fill in my various aspects of my personality – escalating in importance. We then set a series of goals based on these triangles.

Did it work? I think it will. Coaching is an excellent way to deconstruct yourself and give you realistic goals to achieve. However, as an ex-philosophy student I am a pain in the ass when it comes to answering questions like this (‘I think that ‘I’ is a relative concept), so may take a few months.

Alternative therapies aren’t going to cure cancer any time soon, but they are of considerable benefit when trying to deal with the condition. Our health is not simply about one element of the body, it’s about the entire self – physical, mental, emotional, dare I say it, even spiritual. Cancer is not as simple as 1 +1. That’s why we don’t know how to cure it, that’s why some people who are given 6 months to live can stay alive for decades, and that’s why Western medicine struggles to treat it. I am a perfect example – there’s no reason I should have cancer – so in terms of how to make sure it doesn’t return, reason (in its very Western application) doesn’t really have any answers. Everything I was doing was right.

That’s not to say that I should stop chemo, fire up the incense sticks and tuck into a plate of seaweed, however I do think it’s important to have an open mind. If something different works, then it works and I shouldn’t question where it comes from or what the rationale behind it. Returning from a life-threatening illness isn’t just about sewing up the wound, it’s about embracing all the experiences that come with it and understand them as part of who you are. Sometimes that’s the best medication there is.

I’m off for another can of Fanta. Until next time.

Ben