Coping with Cancer - Graduation

Seven crazy months have passed and the chemo journey is almost at an end. One thousand doses of poisonous drugs done, only a few more to go, and by the end of the week I’ll be ready to get back into the world. Life will be different, but hopefully will be even more awesome than before.

In this final blog, I’d like to try and pass on some of the lessons I’ve learned along the journey. I wouldn’t wish cancer or chemotherapy on anyone, but the reality is that a good percentage of us will have to deal with it at some point in our lives, so its worth getting a little lowdown.

Here then, in the spirit of Baz Lurrhman’s Sunscreen Song, is my chemo graduation speech, (ideally accompanied by this backing track). I hope you find it useful.

Everybody’s Free (to use Wet Wipes)

If I could offer you only one tip for chemotherapy, Wet wipes would be it.

The practical benefits of wet wipes have been proven by anyone who has ever spent time in a hospital, or a tent, or anywhere without a decent shower, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering chemo experience. I will dispense this advice now...

Enjoy the power and beauty of your body because it is still beautiful, no matter what you might think. Don't worry about the future, live in the moment and enjoy every second, even if it involves lying on the sofa watching Neighbours. Do one thing every day that scares you – like going out without a scarf

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. You have cancer, you can make them feel guilty as fuck.

Brush your teeth thoroughly Don't waste your time on feeling sorry for yourself, because you’ll get through this, and everyone will think you’re awesome. Enjoy the complements you’ll receive, even though you’re just doing what you have to do to keep going. Read your old love letters and write some new ones. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you no longer care about going to work the most interesting people I know didn't care at 22 some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of fibre Be kind to your colon, you'll miss that when it’s gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't maybe the chemo will make you infertile, maybe it won't, maybe you'll get lucky, because guys with cancer can be strangely attractive. Whatever you do, don't get cocky, it will only lead to disaster (you probably knew this already).

Enjoy your body use it every way you can, while you can, don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, scars look cool and you can get awesome wigs.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room, its really good for digestion. Read the medication instructions and follow them. Do NOT read internet diagnoses, they will only make you feel paranoid.

Talk your parents, they be mental, but they will be really worried about you Be nice to your siblings they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to visit you in hospital. Understand that friends come and go, but a precious few will stay with you and they will be the most valuable thing you can have.

Get out of bed and do something each day, Go for a walk, but don’t go too far, Go and meet friends, but don’t stay too long. Travel, you still can.

Accept certain inalienable truths you will feel tired you will feel sick you might die someday, but so will everyone, so it doesn’t really matter.

Sleep

Respect your doctors. Eat lots of cheese and drink lots of wine.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Everyone will tell you something different and most of it will not be worth listening to.

But trust me on the wet wipes.

Thanks for all the comments and the messages over the last seven months, they’ve really helped get me through. If you can hold out some last positive vibes for the 25th April when I go for my post-chemo scan, I’d really appreciate it. Hopefully the cancer’s all gone, but if it isn’t, I’ll know there’s some great people around to support me.

Have a great bank holiday, I’m sure the rain will stop at some point.

Ben